Wedding Ceremony of
GROOM and BRIDE
(can be used for a same-sex couple or any couple just be sensitive to pronouns and gendered language)
English Name of Bride
Hebrew Name of Bride
English Name of Groom
Hebrew Name of Groom
Anyday Anytime
Month --, XXXX
XX HebMonth XXXX
ב___ בשבת
ב_____ יום לחדש ____
שנת חמשת אלפים ושבע מאות ו______
Opening remarks and blessing
of BRIDE and GROOM
בְּרוּכִים הַבָּיִם בְּשֶׁם ה’
Baruchim Ha-Ba-eem be-Shem Adonai
With this short passage from the Psalms, I welcome both of you, BRIDE and GROOM, to this sacred space as you consecrate your love for each other in the covenant of marriage.
I also welcome your family and friends – from near and far – who have joined you to participate in and witness this ceremony which will seal the covenant of lifelong commitment which you are entering today in a spirit of love and mutual affection.
And I offer greetings to the spirits of those relatives and other dear ones whom we wish could have joined us here. Though they are absent, in this magical hour we still feel their presence and are thankful for their love and blessings.
A wedding is an extraordinary event and marriage a rewarding adventure. BRIDE and GROOM having found each other, consecrate and celebrate their love this evening, standing together under their chuppah, wedding canopy which is a symbol of the home that they will establish together.
GROOM and BRIDE, just as love guided you to this chuppah, may your home always be a sacred space in which your love can grow May it always be a place of intimacy and warmth, your special sanctuary.
As your chuppah is surrounded by your family members and your dear friends, may your home always be a gathering place for those you love and care for. May your circle of friends continue to grow. May you never be alone.
As your chuppah is open on all four sides, may your home always be open to the world. May you never be cut off from the blessings of life and may you never ignore the needs of the world around you.
As your chuppah is a place of beauty, may your home be a place in which you can celebrate the beauty of life through the passing of the seasons of the years and your lives.
But remember, as beautiful, as sacred, as blessed as your chuppah may be, it is a very fragile structure. Its tenuous balance is maintained by the cooperation of its various parts. It is held up by the support of friends, by the power of your love and, to tell the truth, by a little mazal, that is good luck.
May you never forget that a home is not merely a building. It is, like a chuppah, a structure held together by the cooperation and shared affection of those who live underneath its roof. May the mazal, the luck, that brought you together, be with you always. May the love that binds you together today, never cease and may you never forget the beauty of this chuppah and the beauty of this day as long as you live. Or in the words of the Biblical Psalms, "If the Dear God did not build the house, then those that labor within, labor in vain.
AMEN
Lighting the Unity Candle
[I]
Lighting the Unity Candle
Officiant:
Candlelight symbolizes the commitment of love these two people are declaring today.
Before you are three special candles. The two smaller candles symbolize the lives of the bride and groom. Until today, both have let their light shine as individuals in their respective communities. Now they have come to publicly affirm their love in the new union of marriage.
They do not lose their individuality. Yet, in marriage, they are united in so close a bond that they become one. Now to cast the light of their mutual love on today’s celebration, they will light the large center candle from the smaller candles. In this way, they are saying that henceforth their light must shine together for each other, for their families, and for the community.
As the Baal Shem Tov taught: “From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven. And when two souls are destined to find one another, their two streams of light flow together, and a single brighter light goes forth from their united being.”
אוֹר חָדָשׁ עַל צִיּוֹן תָּאִיר, וְנִזְכֶּה כֻלָּֽנוּ מְהֵרָה לְאוֹרוֹ.
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, יוֹצֵר הַמְּאוֹרוֹת.
Or chadash al tziyon tair, v’nizkeh chulanu m’heirah l’oro.
Baruch atah Adonai, yotzeir ham’orot.
May a new light shine upon Zion and may we all be blessed to bask in its glow.
Blessed are you Dear God, creator of all lights.
(Bride) and (Groom) light the candle.
[II]
Seder Havdalah and Lighting the Unity Candle
Candlelight symbolizes the commitment of love these two people are declaring today.
Before you are is a special candle, the Havdalah candle. It is a braided candle that binds three separate lights into one. We light it to mark the end of Shabbat and the beginning of the week.
Spiritually, lighting this candle turns our hearts to the beginning of creation when the first couple, Adam and Eve, join each other and begin the human adventure.
This braided candle is a torch to light our way in dark times and a beacon to gather us for times of joy and opportunities. It reminds us that when we commit ourselves to another in love, loyalty and friendship, the light can bring to the world by that union is far more than the light we can bring separately.
The Ba'al Shem Tov, founder of the mystical tradition of Hasidism taught: "From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven. When two souls that are destined to be together, find each other, their two streams of light flow together, and a single brighter light goes forth from their united being.
Shabbat is drawing to an end. As BRIDE and GROOM are consecrating the next step in their lives together, we all look forward to the coming weeks, months, and years with all their promises and challenges. We reflect on the blessings of Shabbat -- the time we spent with family and friends, the moments of prayer, the opportunity for rest, and the joy and promise of this evening.
The sun is setting but the stars will pierce the evening darkness. We light a torch to guide our way and find strength in words of trust and hope. We talk about salvation – deliverance from darkness to light, from despair to hope, from weakness to strength, from sickness to health, from ignorance to enlightenment.
הִנֵּה אֵל יְשׁוּעָתִי, אֶבְטַח וְלֹא אֶפְחָד,
Behold, God is my salvation. I am full of trust. I am not afraid.
כִּי עָזִּי וְזִמְרָת יָהּ יְיָ, וַיְהִי לִי לִישׁוּעָה:
Truly, the Beloved God is my strength and song. God is always my salvation.
וּשְׁאַבְתֶּם מַֽיִם בְּשָׂשׂוֹן מִמַּעַיְנֵי הַיְשׁוּעָה:
Now joyfully draw water from the wells of salvation.
לַיָי הַיְשׁוּעָה עַל עַמְּךָ בִרְכָתֶֽךָ סֶּלָה:
Salvation is from the Eternal. Dear God, may Your blessing be upon Your people.
יְיָ צְבָאוֹת עִמָּֽנוּ מִשְׂגָּב לָנוּ אֱלֹהֵי יַעֲקֹב סֶֽלָה:
Adonay Tzevaot -- The Great One of Heaven’s Hosts -- is with us. The God of Jacob is our refuge.
יְיָ צְבָאוֹת אַשְרֵי אָדָם בֹּטֵֽחַ בָּךְ:
Adonay Tzevaot -- O Great One of Heaven’s Hosts -- happy is the one who trusts in You!
יְיָ הוֹשִֽׁיעָה הַמֶּֽלֶךְ יַעֲנֵֽנוּ בְיוֹם קָרְאֵֽנוּ:
Dear God, redeem us, O sovereign, answer us whenever we call.
לַיְּהוּדִים הָיְתָה אוֹרָה וְשִׂמְחָה וְשָׂשׂוֹן וִיקָר:
The Jews of old had light, and happiness, and joy and love.
כֵּן תִּהְיֶה לָּנוּ, כּוֹס יְשׁוּעוֹת אֶשָּׂא. וּבְשֵׁם יְיָ אֶקְרָא:
So may it be with us. I lift the cup of salvation and I pray in the Eternal’s name.
סַבְרִי חֲבֵרַי:
With your permission my friends,
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָפֶן.
Blessed are You, Eternal One, Our God, Sovereign of All there is, who creates the fruit of the vine.
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא מִינֵי בְשָׂמִים:
Blessed are You, Eternal One, Our God, Sovereign of All there is, who creates all kinds of fragrant spices.
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא מְאוֹרֵי הָאֵשׁ:
Blessed are You, Eternal One, Our God, Sovereign of all there is, who creates radiant lights.
רוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, הַמַּבְדִיל בֵּין קֹֽדֶשׁ לְחוֹל,
בֵּין אוֹר לְחֽשֶׁךְ, בֵּין יִשְׂרָאֵל לָעַמִּים, בֵּין יוֹם הַשְׁבִיעִי,
לְשֵֽׁשֶׁת יְמֵי הַמַּעֲשֶׂה: בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, הַמַּבְדִיל בֵין קֹֽדֶשׁ לְחוֹל:
Blessed are You, Eternal One, Our God, Sovereign of all there is, who distinguishes the sacred from the mundane, light from darkness, the Jewish people from other people, the seventh day of rest from the six days of work. Blessed are You, Dear God, who separates the sacred from the mundane.
[III]
Chanukah Candles
And now, before we conclude Havdalah, we light the Shammash, the candle the brings light to our Hanukkah Menorah, and pray that the light of love, joy, hope, and happiness will always illumine GROOM and BRIDE’s life together.
The Blessing On the Lights
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָֽׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו, וְצִוָּֽנוּ לְהַדְלִיק נֵר שֶׁל חֲנֻכָּה.
Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha-olam, asher kid'shanu b'mitzvotav, v'tzivanu l'hadlik neir shel chanukah.
We thank and praise You, our Saving God, sovereign of all worlds, who has shown us the way to holiness with Your commandments and has commanded us to light the lights of Chanukah.
Or
Praised and blessed are you Dear God whose holiness shines on us today.
The Blessing On The Miracles
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, שֶׁעָשָׂה נִסִּים לַאֲבוֹתֵֽינוּ בַּיָּמִים הָהֵם בַּזְּמַן הַזֶּה.
Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha-olam, she-asah nisim la-avoteinu bayamim haheim baz'man hazeh.
We honor and extol You, Our Wondrous God, sovereign of all, who performed miracles for our ancestors in those days at this season.
Or
Praised and blessed are you Dear God for triumphs in ancient days and blessings of today.
The Blessing On the Gift of Life
(Only on the first night of Chanukah)
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, שֶׁהֶחֱיָֽנוּ וְקִיְּמָֽנוּ וְהִגִּיעָֽנוּ לַזְּמַן הַזֶּה.
Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha-olam, shehecheyanu v'kiy'manu, v'higi-anu, laz'man hazeh.
We are grateful to You, Our Sustaining God, sovereign of all, for giving us life, for nurturing us, and for bringing us to this season. Amen.
Seder Kiddusin /Blessing over the Wine
RABBI: Today is a day of joy and wine is a symbol of joy. We fill the cup to the brim to express our wish that your cup always is always overflowing with blessings.
The commandment to bless this wine is a commandment to drink life as deeply as we drink from this cup.
It is a commandment to bless life and to love deeply.
It is a commandment to laugh until we are all laughter
To sing until we are all song
To dance until we are all dance
To love until we are all love
This is the wine that God has commanded us to bless and drink
Rabbi Sandy Eisenberg Sasso
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָּֽפֶן.
Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu Meleck HaOlam borei peri hagafen.
We bless you and praise you, Dear God,
Sovereign of All Worlds, who creates the fruit of the vine.
You are beloved in granting blessings, Eternal One our God, who is the life of the universe. You guide our lives that we may find our beloved. You have graciously fashioned the partnership we celebrate today by bringing all of us here to sanctify BRIDE’s and GROOM’s life together. We praise you, Dear God, who sanctifies the people Israel with Chuppah (חֻפָּה), the wedding canopy, and Kiddushin (קִדּוּשִׁיו), the sacred wedding traditions.
(adapted from Moreh Dereck, RA Rabbi’s Manual vol. 1, C-46/47)
RABBI: GROOM and BRIDE, as you share this wine, so may you share all things from this day on with love and understanding. May life’s joys be heightened, life’s bitterness sweetened and each of its moments hallowed.
[GROOM and BRIDE drink from the cup]
Exchange of Vows
RABBI: GROOM and BRIDE, you are standing here with your family and friends and embarking on a new journey in the adventure of life. You are cementing the commitments you have made to each other with the words and symbols of Judaism and are establishing a new household in the community of Am Yisrael, the Jewish people. Please join hands in preparation for the declaration of your intentions in the presence of God and this gathering.
Do you, GROOM, take BRIDE to be your wife? Will you respect, honor and live your life openly with her while encouraging and nurturing her growth? Through your love for her, do you pledge to cherish her by striving to increase her happiness and diminish her sorrows? Will you have faith in her love for you all the days of your life?
Do you, BRIDE, take GROOM to be your husband? Will you respect, honor and live your life openly with him while encouraging and nurturing his growth? Through your love for him, do you pledge to cherish him by striving to increase his happiness and diminish his sorrows? Will you have faith in his love for you all the days of your life?
Explanation and Exchange of Rings
Traditionally the wedding ring is a plain gold band. It is a simple circle of gold that testifies to the purity of the couple’s intentions and their wish to share the fullness of life.
BRIDE and GROOM just as gold never tarnishes, may the beauty of this day never fade from your hearts as now consecrate the love you share by your gift of rings to each other.
GROOM places the ring on BRIDE's finger and says:
הֲרֵי אַתְּ מְקֻדֶּשֶׁת לִי, בְּטַבַּעַת זוֹ, כְּדַת מֹשֶׁה וְיִשְׂרָאֵל.
"By this ring, you are consecrated to me, as my wife,
in accordance with the laws of Moses and the people of Israel”
BRIDE places the ring on GROOM’s finger and says:
הֲרֵי אַתָּה מְקֻדַּשׁ לִי, בְּטַבַּעַת זוֹ, כְּדַת מֹשֶׁה וְיִשְׂרָאֵל.
"By this ring, you are consecrated to me, as my husband,
in accordance with the laws of Moses and the people of Israel”
BRIDE and GROOM:
וְאֵרַשְׂתִּיךְ לִי לְעוֹלָם.
וְאֵרַשְׂתִּיךְ לִי בְּצֶֽדֶק וּבְמִשְׁפָּט וּבְחֶֽסֶד וּבְרַחֲמִים.
וְאֵרַשְׂתִּיךְ לִי בֶּאֱמוּנָה, וְיָדַֽעַתְּ אֶת יְיָ.
Ve'erastich li le'olam
Ve'erastich li betzedek, uvmishpat uvchesed uvrachamim
Ve'erastich li be'emunah vayada'at at Adonai.
I will betroth you to me forever.
I will betroth you to me in righteousness, justice, love and compassion.
I will betroth you to me in faithfulness
so that you may know the Beloved God..
(Hosea 2:19-20)
Reading of the Ketubah – The Wedding Covenant
Before we entered this room GROOM and BRIDE declared their commitment to each other by signing this Ketubah, this wedding covenant. In it, they promise to build a life together based on shared values and understandings. I would like to read it to you so that we can be witnesses to their union.
Seder Nisu’in
Our celebration continues with the second part of the wedding service, the ceremony known as Nisu'in. The blessings we are about to recite express our gratitude for the miracle of life and for the sanctity of marriage. Because there are seven blessings in all, they have become known as the Sheva Berachot (שֶׁבַע בְּרָכוֹת), the Seven Blessings. In our tradition, the number seven carried special significance. It is a number of wholeness and holiness. It is the number of Shabbat, the seventh day, and thus it is the number of peace. May the Sheva Berachot (שֶׁבַע בְּרָכוֹת) confer blessings on each and every day of the week of GROOM and BRIDE’s life together.
Once again we fill the cup of blessings with wine and call upon family and friends to recite the Sheva Berachot.
1 בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָּֽפֶן.
1 Praised are You, Dear God, Life of the Universe, who brings forth fruit from the vine!
2 בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, שֶׁהַכֹּל בָּרָא לִכְבוֹדוֹ.
2 Praised are You, Dear God, who shapes all creation, all things created peak your glory.
3 בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, יוֹצֵר הָאָדָם.
3 Praised are You, Holy One, who fashions each person.
4 בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר יָצַר אֶת הָאָדָם בְּצַלְמוֹ, בְּצֶֽלֶם דְּמוּת תַּבְנִיתוֹ, וְהִתְקִין לוֹ מִמֶּֽנּוּ בִּנְיַן עֲדֵי עַד. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, יוֹצֵר הָאָדָם.
4 We praise and bless You, Dear God, Creator of All, for forming each person in Your image. You have planted within us a vision of You and given us the means that we may flourish through time. Praised are You, Creator of humanity.
5 שׂוֹשׂ תָּשִׂישׂ וְתָגֵל הָעֲקָרָה בְּקִבּוּץ בָּנֶֽיהָ לְתוֹכָהּ בְּשִׂמְחָה. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, מְשַׂמֵּֽח צִיּוֹן בְּבָנֶֽיהָ.
5 May the Land of Israel, once bereft of her children, now delight as they gather together in joy. Blessed are You, Sovereign God, who lets Zion, Jerusalem, your city, rejoice with her children.
6 שַׂמֵּֽחַ תְּשַׂמַּח רֵעִים הָאֲהוּבִים כְּשַׂמֵּחֲךָ יְצִירְךָ בְּגַן עֵֽדֶן מִקֶּֽדֶם. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, מְשַׂמֵּֽחַ חָתָן וְכַלָּה.
6 Let these loving friends taste the bliss You gave to the first man and woman, Adam and Eve, in the Garden of Eden in the days of old. Praised are You, who dwells with the bride and groom in delight.
7 בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר בָּרָא שָׂשׂוֹן וְשִׂמְחָה, חָתָן וְכַלָּה, גִּילָה, רִנָּה, דִּיצָה וְחֶדְוָה, אַהֲבָה וְאַחֲוָה וְשָׁלוֹם וְרֵעוּת. מְהֵרָה יְיָ אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ יִשָּׁמַע בְּעָרֵי יְהוּדָה וּבְחֻצוֹת יְרוּשָׁלָֽיִם קוֹל שָׂשׂוֹן וְקוֹל שִׂמְחָה, קוֹל חָתָן וְקוֹל כַּלָּה, קוֹל מִצְהֲלוֹת חֲתָנִים מֵחֻפָּתָם וּנְעָרִים מִמִּשְׁתֵּה נְגִינָתָם. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, מְשַׂמֵּֽחַ חָתָן עִם הַכַּלָּה.
7 You are to be praised because You light the world with happiness and contentment, love and companionship, peace and friendship, bride and groom. Let the mountains of Israel dance! Let the gates of Jerusalem ring with the sounds of joy, song, merriment, and delight -- the voice of the groom and the voice of the bride, the happy shouts of their friends and companions. We praise You, God, who brings bride and groom together to rejoice in each other.
[GROOM and BRIDE drink from the cup]
Concluding Benediction
May God bless you and keep you.
May God warm your love in divine light and shower you always with kindness.
May God always be close to you and grant you peace.
AMEN
Affirmation of the Families and Guests
This marriage unites not only two individuals but two families and two communities as well. Now that you have heard their vows and witnessed their Covenant, I ask all of you, their family and friends, do you promise to support BRIDE and GROOM in their marriage? To which you all joyously respond, “We do!”
Breaking of the Glass
The shattering of the glass marks the end of the ceremony and the beginning of the joyous celebration. At the sound of the cracking glass, the guests all shout “Mazal Tov!, congratulations!”, the bride and groom kiss and hand in hand, they lead the wedding party to the celebration.
There are many explanations for the smashing of the glass. On one level, it reminds us that the bond formed by marriage is precious and irreplaceable. When first formed, glass is beautiful, pristine, and shining. But glassware needs to be treated kindly and gently. If one treats it violently, it shatters and breaks. The broken glass teaches the bride and groom that unless they preserve and cherish their marriage vows, they risk causing them to be abused and irremediably broken.
On another note, the broken glass also expresses our wish that the years of joy and happiness BRIDE and GROOM will share will, far exceed in number the pieces of the broken goblet. So now, in joy and gladness, GROOM will break the glass and the lucky couple will share a kiss.
MAZAL TOV!
CONGRATULATIONS!