A Sample Interfaith Wedding Ceremony[1]
Based on the format and language of the traditional Jewish Ceremony
By Rabbi Lewis John Eron
Welcoming the Couple
Officiant:
בְּרוּכִים הַבָּיִם בְּשֶׁם ה’
Baruchim Ha-Ba-eem be-Shem Adonai
Blessed be you who have come here in dedication to all that is loving, good, and sacred.
We bless you and welcome you in joy.
May the Source of Life sustain you in life.
May all that is noble and true inspire your lives together and bring peace to all humankind.
With this short passage from the Psalms, I welcome both of you, (Bride) and (Groom), to this sacred space as you consecrate your love for each other in the covenant of marriage.
I also welcome your family and friends – from near and far – who have joined you to participate in and witness this ceremony which will seal the covenant of lifelong commitment which you are entering today in a spirit of love and mutual affection.
And I offer greetings to the spirits of those relatives and other dear ones whom we wish could have joined us here. Though they are absent, in this magical hour we still feel their presence and are thankful for their love and blessings.
Shehecheyanu
Today is a day of joy. We give thanks for all that has brought us to today and for all today promises with the words of blessing:
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, שֶׁהֶחֱיָֽנוּ וְקִיְּמָֽנוּ וְהִגִּיעָֽנוּ לַזְּמַן הַזֶּה.
Baruch atah Adonai eloheinu melech ha-olam,
shehecheyanu v’kiy’manu v’higi-anu laz’man hazeh.
Blessed by the Presence whose Holiness fills our lives,
we give thanks for life, health, and this sacred moment.
Lighting the Unity Candle
Officiant:
Candlelight symbolizes the commitment of love these two people are declaring today.
Before you are three special candles. The two smaller candles symbolize the lives of the bride and groom. Until today, both have let their light shine as individuals in their respective communities. Now they have come to publicly affirm their love in the new union of marriage.
They do not lose their individuality. Yet, in marriage, they are united in so close a bond that they become one. Now to cast the light of their mutual love on today’s celebration, they will light the large center candle from the smaller candles. In this way they are saying that henceforth their light must shine together for each other, for their families, and for the community.
As the Baal Shem Tov taught: “From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven. And when two souls are destined to find one another, their two streams of light flow together and a single brighter light goes forth from their united being.”
אוֹר חָדָשׁ עַל צִיּוֹן תָּאִיר, וְנִזְכֶּה כֻלָּֽנוּ מְהֵרָה לְאוֹרוֹ.
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, יוֹצֵר הַמְּאוֹרוֹת.
Or chadash al tziyon tair, v’nizkeh chulanu m’heirah l’oro.
Baruch atah Adonai, yotzeir ham’orot.
May a new light shine upon Zion and may we all be blessed to bask in its glow.
Blessed are you Dear God, creator of all lights.
(Bride) and (Groom) light the candle.
Blessing Over the Wine
Officant: Today is a day of joy and wine is a symbol of joy. We fill the cup to the brim to express our wish that your cup always is always overflowing with blessings.
The commandment to bless this wine is a commandment to drink life as deeply as we drink from this cup.
It is a commandment to bless life and to love deeply.
It is a commandment to laugh until we are all laughter
To sing until we are all song
To dance until we are all dance
To love until we are all love
This is the wine that God has commanded us to bless and drink
Rabbi Sandy Eisenberg Sasso
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָּֽפֶן.
Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu Meleck HaOlam borei peri hagafen
Blessed are you, O God, Creator of the fruit of the vine.
Officiant: (Groom) and (Bride), as you share this wine, so may you share all things from this day on with love and understanding. May life’s joys be heightened, life’s bitterness sweetened and each of its moments hallowed.
Exchange of Vows
Officiant: (Groom) and (Bride) you are standing here with your family and friends and embarking on a new journey in the adventure of life. You are cementing the commitments you have made to each other with the words and rituals of this your wedding day. Please join hands in preparation for the declaration of your intentions in the presence of God and this gathering.
Do you, (Groom), take (Bride) to be your wife? Will you respect, honor and live your life openly with her while encouraging and nurturing her growth? Through your love for her, do you pledge to cherish her by striving to increase her happiness and diminish her sorrows? Will you have faith in her love for you all the days of your life?
(Groom): Yes, I do!
Do you, (Bride), take (Bride) to be your husband? Will you respect, honor and live your life openly with him while encouraging and nurturing his growth? Through your love for him, do you pledge to cherish him by striving to increase his happiness and diminish his sorrows? Will you have faith in his love for you all the days of your life?
(Bride): Yes, I do!
Officiant:
At this point, (Bride) and (Groom) would like to share some thoughts with each other.
Explanation and Exchange of Rings
Officiant:
Traditionally the wedding ring is a plain gold band. It is a simple circle of gold that testifies to the purity of the couple’s intentions and their wish to share the fullness of life.
(Bride) and (Groom) just as gold never tarnishes, may the beauty of this day never fade from your hearts as now consecrate the love you share by your gift of rings to each other.
(Groom), as you place the ring on (Bride’s) finger, repeat after me:
With this ring, I join my life with yours.
This is my beloved and this is my friend.
(Bride), as you place the ring on (Groom’s) finger, repeat after me:
With this ring, I join my life with yours.
This is my beloved and this is my friend.
Together let please repeat after me the ancient wedding vows found in the words of the Prophet Hosea:
וְאֵרַשְׂתִּיךְ לִי לְעוֹלָם.
וְאֵרַשְׂתִּיךְ לִי בְּצֶֽדֶק וּבְמִשְׁפָּט וּבְחֶֽסֶד וּבְרַחֲמִים.
וְאֵרַשְׂתִּיךְ לִי בֶּאֱמוּנָה, וְיָדַֽעַתְּ אֶת יְיָ.
Ve’erastich li le’olam
Ve’erastich li betzedek, uvmishpat uvchesed uvrachamim
Ve’erastich li be’emunah vayada’at at Adonai.
I will betroth you to me forever.
I will betroth you to me in righteousness, justice, love and compassion.
I will betroth you to me in faithfulness
so that you may know the Beloved God..
(Hosea 2:21-22)
Reading of the Ketubah / The Wedding Covenant
Before we entered this room (Groom) and (Bride) declared their commitment to each other by signing this Ketubah, this wedding covenant. In it they promise to build a life together based on a shared values and understandings. I would like to read it to you so that we can be witnesses to their union.
The Seven Blessings of Joy
Our celebration continues with a reading of the seven blessings of joy marriage offers. They remind us to cherish our most intimate relationships, to celebrate the miracle of being alive and to honor sanctity of marriage. In the biblical tradition, the number seven carries a special significance. It is a number of wholeness and holiness. It is the number of Sabbath, the seventh day, and thus it is the number of peace. May the wisdom of these be a source of blessing on each and every day of the week of (Groom) and (Bride)’s life together.
ONE: The joy of marriage is, to begin with, the joy of not being alone. It is the joy of companionship and intimacy and having a person and place to come to. It is the joy of structure and order, of comfort, security and stability.
TWO: The joy of marriage is the joy of having someone to help with the burdens and drudgery of daily life. It is the joy of making a home and creating a family. It is the joy of being a parent and raising children.
THREE: The joy of marriage is the joy of defining your relationship with respect to others and society at large. It is the joy of loving someone so much that you want to celebrate that love and commitment publicly. It is the joy of taking a risk, making a leap of faith, going all the way. It is the joy of believing in someone and something above and beyond yourself. It is the joy of building something lasting and substantial.
FOUR: The joy of marriage is the joy of having a best friend who is also your lover, and a lover who is also your best friend. It is the joy of sleeping with someone who warms your heart as well as your bed. It is the joy of making love without awkwardness, self-consciousness or shame. It is the joy of developing a private vocabulary and doing some of your best talking without words.
FIVE: The joy of marriage is the joy of having someone real to hold when you wake up sweating during a dark night of the soul. It is the joy of having someone who truly cares, someone who will stand by you when you get sick or falter or fail. It is the joy of having someone you believe, and who believes in you, tell you at times that you’re the best, and at other ties, that you can be much better.
SIX: The joy of marriage is the joy of outgrowing your adolescent self-absorption and getting on with life. It is the joy of being faithful and honoring a vow. It is the joy of ennobling yourself through discipline and sacrifice.
SEVEN: The joy of marriage is the joy of having a common history and mutual memories, and the sense of having traveled together far. it is the joy of being a separate individual and yet also part of a whole. It is the joy of fighting and making up, of going apart and coming together again. It is the joy of learning to yield and to compromise, to care and to love. Finally, it is the joy of giving.
(Rabbi Bonnie Koppell adapted)
To seal these blessings, (Bride) and (Groom) will once again share a cup of wine.
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָּֽפֶן.
Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu Meleck HaOlam borei peri hagafen
Blessed are you, O God, Creator of the fruit of the vine.
(GROOM) and (BRIDE) drink from the cup]
Concluding Benediction
May God bless you and keep you.
May God warm your love in divine light and shower you always with kindness.
May God always be close to you and grant you peace.
AMEN
Affirmation of the Families and Guests
This marriage unites not only two individuals, but two families and two communities as well. Now that you have heard their vows and witnessed their Covenant, I ask all of you, their family and friends, if you promise to support (Bride) and (Groom) in their marriage, please respond now by saying “We do!”
Breaking of the Glass
The shattering of the glass marks the end of the ceremony and the beginning of the joyous celebration.
The broken glass expresses our wish that the years of joy and happiness (Bride) and (Groom) will share will, far exceed in number the pieces of the broken goblet. So now, in joy and gladness, (Groom) will break the glass and lucky couple will share a kiss. At the sound of the cracking glass, we all all shout “Mazal Tov!, congratulations!”
MAZAL TOV!
CONGRATULATIONS!
[1] Sources: I took inspiration as well as some words from: A Sample Interfaith Wedding Ceremony, By Rabbi Devon A. Lerner, http://www.interfaithfamily.com/life_cycle/weddings/A_Sample_Interfaith_Wedding_Ceremony.shtml